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A Shanghainese Grandma

Senior Portrait

I have seven sisters. We all are spitting images of each other, and so are our characteristics. Thankfully, we dress slightly differently. Otherwise, it would be confusing. It’s so great to have sisters! We always share our belongings. Can you see the photo of kids playing seesaw on the wall? My third older sister swapped this photo with me recently. She’s now in Tsuen Wan. You should visit her when you’re free. There is a headshot hung on the wall. It’s a child. “It’s adorable. Let’s take a picture!” Some said. “Zik Zik Zik, how ugly! Where are her manners? She’s like a deformed melon or a split date.” Some said. “Don’t you think that she looks like Jiang Zemin? Or a baby face old woman?” Some said. You’re right. The longer I gaze at it, the more the baby looks a bit like Jiang Zemin. I’ll say that human life is a circle. We live till we get old, then are reborn. That’s interesting. I don’t recommend meeting your sisters often. As an old saying goes, “A close neighbor is better than a distant relative.” This saying never goes wrong!

 

My neighbor Law Mark Kee is indeed my guy bestie. Ha! I bet you’re laughing at me. “Does she think she’s chic to claim someone as her bestie? Doesn’t she feel ashamed?” Right? Hey, you’re deceived by Law Mark Kee’s appearance. He is younger than me! He loves to dress in a nostalgic style. The clothes he wears every day are old-fashioned and arrogant, yet special. Customers keep visiting his restaurant because of that, don’t they?

 

How’s the food? Mmmm, the milk tea is good, but for other dishes, well, the flavor is too strong. People love dining out, thinking it's better than homemade meals. The reason behind this is the strong seasoning! You will not add that much seasoning when you cook your own meal. No, not only Law Mark Kee. All restaurants do so. We all know that what we have is the best for us, but we always focus on what others have. We always ignore what we have in the present. But none of us will admit it. Why do I need to worry about it? Don't tell me you don't know homemade meals are healthier than dining in. Even if you know that, you will still choose to dine out. That's the irrefutable law of human beings. Then why do I need to worry about it? Silly.

 

There is the Curry Boy on the other side. We call him that in private only. We usually call him Handsome when we meet him. Because we are not that close to each other. No, he's not Japanese. Everyone's the same. It's just that everyone has their own style. He seldom hangs out with us. That's why we are not that close. You can go to his place and check it out. There aren't many people in his place. “One's trade is like an enemy country”, but having said that, neighbors should look after each other, right? At first, with the greed for freshness, people swarmed to his restaurant. Our antiques are looked down on and we are isolated. It’s no big deal to be looked down on, no one cares, right? Every dog has its day, our business boomed, then he had a chip on his shoulder. With the idea of “earning money together”, Law Mark Kee and I tried to advise him not to sell just curry pork chops. He thought that we were scamming him, thus he gave us a cold shoulder. This doesn’t lead to a sudden hostility, yet ignorance. The surrounding restaurants began to stay away from him. Well, a person who cannot figure out his own position, cannot face and accept oneself, let alone having others accept him.

Learning to Love ‘the People’s Food’ in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam - NYTimes_com.jpeg

Am I flirting with Law Mark Kee? Um, how do I explain? We are living one day at a time. We don’t even dare to think about the future cause someday we may just pass away without knowing it. Let’s talk about things I really enjoy right now. There are plenty of them. Every day I stand at the doorway with Law Mark Kee observing people, guessing their relationship, occupation or which restaurant they will go to. We have so much fun. Did you think everyone had already made a decision on what to eat beforehand? That’s not the case. In fact, more than half of them are thinking while walking. Some had almost stepped into the restaurant but then came out and went to another one.

 

Look at those two girls. Just now, they said they wanna go to Law Mark Kee, craving instant noodles. A second ago, Law Mark Kee was gloating as he saw them walking into his restaurant. The next second, he was so pissed off by the two girls. I thought I'd die laughing!

 

There are all kinds of people here. Look at the couple next to the girl, that is what we call situationship. How do I know it? Do you use your chopsticks like that when you are eating noodles at home? Saying I am full after a few bites. Isn’t that obvious? Compare it with that pair, right, the pair with a gweilo. Since ordering, they haven’t said a single word. That’s an “old couple”. It’s fun, isn’t it? Do you wanna take a look? Sure, look at those two girls, they haven’t stopped laughing since they sat down. Go, take a look:

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A: Your tone is “Su shi’s like - dignified and gluttonous”.

B: Should I be thankful?

A: Of course, you should be! Isn’t he the admired poet of yours? His writing style is so good.

B: But he is a guy… Wait, don’t you see that the color of the rice is attractive? Let’s eat!

A: Oh! By the way, what should we write for our essay?

B: How about you think of a topic? We need to hand it in two weeks after..

A: Um… Then, what about “Shanghai Grandma”?

B: Um, are you sure..? Alright...

B: Oh my god! The food is so good! You better eat it first.

…….

A: I regretted my decision for our essay’s topic since I couldn’t think of anything to write.

B: Mmmmm, delicious! Just don't think about that right now but enjoy the meal instead! This fried rice is superb.

A: Yeah, I know. I bet you’re gonna describe the color and texture of the rice first, following with how firm the fried rice does.

B: Well, thanks for your enthusiasm about the outline of my food reflection.

A: How about we write about a person in our essay? For example, “A Shanghainese Grandma”.

B: Um… It can be, but I am afraid that our essay will be off-topic.

A: How about making it like an erotic novel…?

B: Good, good. I can’t wait for it!

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